Had an interesting time this week concerning a family (nameless) who wanted the KHR minister to do a funeral. After a little gentle enquiry, it transpires that the minister who did that funeral was two before me (now deceased), and shouldn’t have done the funeral anyway for reasons below. No real pastoral connection, given at least fifteen years time had passed.
Then had the ‘the person lived locally’ card played, only to discover, again with gentle questions, that they did not stay anywhere near my parish. (Second strike) Again, no connection. And, in any case, six years had passed since the person stayed there. (Third strike)
To cap it off, a family friend was asked to phone me to see if I would do a funeral (same one), and as soon as the name was mentioned, I had to decline.
This is more than just sticking to rules. It involves professional integrity and appropriate pastoral support.
It turns out that there is a chaplain connected with where the person most recently stayed, and that should have been the family’s first port of call in any case. Should this finally be resolved with the chaplain, it will be the best pastoral support for quite a family in pain.
You couldn’t write it !
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